Premonitions

Well, this blog post from August - http://haggisinwonderland.blogspot.com/2010/08/youve-got-to-have-fun.html - certainly became prophetic. As of this weekend, I have decided to absolve myself of all my responsibilities at the club. I have stopped enjoying it.

So what led to this point? There is no one thing you can pin it on, it is a complicated mix of things that have served to frustrate, depress, annoy and ultimately restrict my time.

In varying amounts of size, the factors at work are :- some people at the club who I believe are actively undermining the manager, and therefore the team; the manager constantly banging on about the wage bill; some supporters not realising what supporting means; getting a new job that is going to be tough and longer work; and my own thin skin.

About 10 days ago someone has had a pop at me, and I've always said that when that happens I wont hang around. I don't like it, or need it, as I take it too much to heart. I gnaws at me at work, and at home. So I have taken myself out of the firing line.

The list above exacerbates North End's current malaise. In the bottom two of the league and not playing well, struggling to get sponsors and probably losing money. These situations require a club to pull together, close ranks and work as a team. Instead folk appear to be sniping at each other, sometimes in public. Ironically, it was a call for everyone at the club to act as one that led to the straw that broke my camel's back.

I've done six years at the club and have enjoyed almost all of it. There are a lot of people to thank, and I will forget some...sorry. But thanks to Pete Hammond for all his assistance and advice. He takes the shit I avoided like teflon, mostly unjustifiably. Thanks to Dave Atky for allowing me to run with some things others may not have. Thanks to those supporters who I have stood shoulder to shoulder with and shared many a laugh, not least those who were at that freezing cold night in Newcastle, where we were in fits of giggles from start to finish. And thanks to High Peak Radio who have allowed me to indulge a long standing love of football on the wireless.

Muchos muchos thanks though to Steve, Terry and the players (and Nico before them), who have welcomed me into the dressing room without suspicion, despite the potential for me writing nasty things about them each game. But particularly 'cheers' to Steve and Terry, who have indulged more than a couple of whims over the years. They wont like me bringing up 2009 again, but for me to have been in the dressing rooms, traded teamsheets in the referee's room, sat on the bench, done a press conference and walked on the turf at the National Stadium is all down to their good grace. As was my place on the FA Cup bench earlier this season. I still think about that Vase final daily, and they and their 2009 squad were the architects of one of the best days of my life.

It's not like I wont be at games, but it will simply be as a spectator, enjoying the game just for football, not worrying about what else may take place. I must say, it is a while since I watched a game just for the craic and I'm looking forward to it.

The fact that I wont feel obliged to be at the game though is good. My family might be pleased to see me on a Saturday (although they may not!) and it will be fun to go and stay with friends the odd weekend having neglected them for six years while I was doing this job.

And one day, I have no doubt that fully refreshed and enthused again, I'll be raising my hand for some more GNE duty. Until then, see you in the trenches.